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It seems we are forever encountering the bad behaviour of individuals. Our response is typically to employ CBT programmes or therapy-based intervention. However, Many of the men I talked to:

  • Claim to have done programmes, seen professionals, and completed counselling, but never been asked what it is like being inside their thoughts.

  • Claim they can’t afford it.

  • Don’t have a framework of understanding what they experience. For example, the extremes in emotion.

  • Don’t understand why they react, or what can be heard by the protest?.

  • It is not until our basic needs are met that we can really think about being our best self or behaving well when distressed - for example dental care.


The effect of Trauma can have effects such as:

  • Depression and self-hatred

  • Difficulties dealing with emotions and impulses

    • Being over reactive

    • Being easily overwhelmed

    • Finding it difficult to calm oneself

  • Dissociative responses such as 

    • Being numb 

    • Being in a daze

    • Having disconnected thoughts and emotions

  • Self destructive behaviours such as

    • Self- harming

    • Drug and alcohol addiction

    • Inability to develop and maintain satisfying personal relationships

    • Losing a sense of meaning and hope


"Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you're acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you're acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it's what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you."  - Gabor Mate

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